i have no idea

i am entirely obsessed with this picture.

first of all, lions.

second of all.

it's awesome.

it's really cold here.

they say a huge storm is coming.

i hope it would.

i want to see how storms are like at the other side of the world.

im awake most of the night.

not cos of jetlag.

i just don't want to fall asleep knowing im alone again.

so i get myself to be super tired.

you know,

i've always been a hopeless romantic.

but, i don't show it.

or may not show it.

i don't know. i don't videotape myself and analyse.

but i'm always so caught up with finding it.

or maybe just the feeling of love and not the person,

according to my horoscope.

i get so obsessed over the most romantic things someone has done for me.

gawd.

if i would just stop to think about it.

i want to slap myself most of the time.

cos i've been looking for love all over.

but i can't stop.

it's like fucking heroin.

no one's talking to me here.

and im finding reasons to justify things that i do.

sometimes,

i just tell myself,

stop rachael.

this is not what u want to do.

seriously.

i can't wait to find a proper boyf.

but when i do,

i know im going to be the cool, nonchalant, super laidback person i am, or i want people to look at me as.

i always want to find someone like well, a best friend, who i'm totally comfortable with.

i've never found that.

and i think that's so annoying.

because i'm such a hardup ass.

3 months on working on myself.

i think so.

i should start now.