i drew my face on the sheets

I've been watching life of Ryan and it has so much guy drama in it,

I was like, man, guys really do that? Fight and all over friendship?

Well, I guess I still have so much more to figure out.

I've been watching the Maury show and I was watching this 15 year old girl trying to get pregnant and I was all like, damnnnnn. what is the world coming to? And like she has sex so much more than I think i would ever have in two of my lifetimes. That's not even badass. That's just gross.

But I was thinking about the reasons why I'm not like that, and I figured it's cos even though I may come out as wild and crazy, I always have someone to keep me under control and I like that. I like that my friends are always like watching out for me and I really appreciate what they do for me. I know that sometimes, I need to be taken care of and stuff and I'm glad there is always someone there for me.

But on the side note, I feel like clubbing again for some reason.

Anyways, I've got my Placebo tix so night of fun is coming up soon.

I'm still thinking about celebrating my half birthday though.

It sounds so stupid.

But I want my birthday to be a day where everyone I love is there for me.

The most horrible birthday was a couple of years back where I didn't have much friends.

I felt like crying so bad, because I always had a whole group of them from everywhere.

I'm building that again now because some people left.

Imagine starting school again this year, and like I can't really celebrate it with anyone.

People that I'm really close to and known for years won't be there.

which would really really suck.

So I'm thinking about it.

So I have piano exam and filming and placebo concert coming up,

also ladies night with my newfound clique, or so I hope.

An internet conference thing to give me an idea to how I can start my business

and like, study days with the same people.

I need like drinking days and doing nothing days where I stay home and watch greek and all my shows that I'm missing out on.

omggg. greek. I can't wait for chris to give me the seasons.

SCOTT MICHAEL FOSTER :B

But soon.

I just realised today that I actually quit my job.

like for real rachael.

Like, that sucks.

Now I have no idea what I'm going to do.

I have to get inspiration soon.

Cos right now, my head is cluttered with nothing but obsession and migraine.

Can't wait for my piano exam to be over.

That day would be the day I've been waiting for, my entire life.

my parents would stop obsessing about my music for once in my life.

FINALLY.

breaking out of that hideous, hideous cycle.

I shall move on and compose my nonsense soon.

And learn the violin.

I should sleep and forget.

I've been lacking that for a long time.