bastard's waltz

if anything, 

i have to blog tonight.

about how i feel.

and the person i've become.

honestly,

i know im a stronger person than i was back then.

i am able to suck it up,

and pick myself up when someone hits me.

and i'm able to do that again and again.

people should stop hitting me already.

cos it sucks to get beaten up all the time.

but somehow, 

i like feeling like this.

but then again,

i wish things were better.

i wish i chose the right people.

but then again.

i wouldnt be where i am today.

so i wouldnt change anything.

cos the people i loved are the people i still love..

in a different way.

i like looking at the brighter side of things.

i don't think being stuck in some rut would help me.

but i'm going to pull myself,

till i find the ground. 

i need..

i don't know.

a genie what would grant my wished.

cos what i am right now.

is so stagnant.

i'm working on my emotional state so hard.

im so drained and so burnt out.

one more day.

this would be over.

i don't know what's my next move.

but please.

don't touch me anymore.

i'm annoyed and tired.

let me lay down and rest.

i don't want to be all fragile and boring.

 

i would be stronger soon.

you'll see.