sometimes people write the things they can't say

maybe i do, but maybe i dont dare to.

you know how it is when you became so hardened up emotionally,

you dont wana be soft again.

i dont want to be soft again.

i dont want to give in to everything around me.

and it's only the pressure i feel.

people talk to me.

they tell me how it is like,

but i dont know what i want.

i dont know what i want right now.

i just need time to think.

time to reflect.

sometimes,

i think im just afraid.

im afraid of people.

of what they say,

of what they think.

but i know its stupid because what matters is me.

it's what i think,

not what they think.

maybe you dont understand this.

so give it time.

but you know i'd go with the flow.

i know it's not perfect.

nothing is,

when all i wish for is for this to be perfect.

but i know its not.

it's not you.

i really dont want anything bad to come out of this.

this is my one chance,

after a year of suffocation of my mistake.

i dont know if i had let it go.

i dont know if i bought that emotions here

maybe im just not ready.

maybe im just too afraid to tell you.

maybe.. just maybe.

it's just me.

tell me im not wrong.

rachael is gay gay gay gay gay.

god, you talk like a wuss.

damn.

man up a bit.

geesssss.

you're going to give all of it up for this?

rachael, you control your emotions,

its mind over matter.

your brain controls you even though it says follow your heart.

fucking hell.

i hate this kinda decisions.

all it does is it screws you up.

do i want this?

i can't sleep without you. haha.