from her notebook

to loose the feelings that ran so deep,
so see what's buried inside.
too scared to find what lies beneath,
afraid to loose what's already mine.

my weakness is clear,
but i won't reveal much of what i feel.
my smiles that cover them up.
my notebooks are where they lie,
my emotions so deep inside.

it makes no sense,
im confusing myself.
with what seems like the end.

my feelings are hideous.
but they drive me real again.
but i dont want to be.
maybe dillusions re the best things there are.